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06 October 2004 @ 01:45 pm
Sometimes..  
Have you ever had that feeling that your behind everyone else? You read their journals, or hear their thought process and wonder why it is that you can't get your words out in such a clear manner? It's annoying really to be reduced to words that make you look stupid, when really it's more uneducated. I know what I'm talking about, I just don't have the words to express it. There are days when I awe at others words, wondering if I'll ever get to be that concise in my debates, thoughts and such. I even envy my husband on that end. That he can cleary state in a very logical way how things should go, or debate something and sound intellegent. I sound very much like I've never finished high school. The sad fact of the matter is, I never finished my first year in college and to be honest I'm not sure I would ever go back if given the chance. I love learning, don't get me wrong but the structure of learning is not for me. Most times I can't sit still, and focus on the class. I've no desire for that structure and unless it's a teaching style that suits me I fall easily behind in class. I learn from those I respect and from those willing to teach me in a way I understand. That leaves a bit of a problem when that is not how teaching is geared. I know I'm not stupid, but there are days when I feel it none the less. It's just frustrating having so many thoughts, and opinions and not have the words to back them up. Not so much with politics as I really have never followed that, a remiss in my duty as a citizen, I know. I don't debate religion much as I beleive that as long as you let others be what they are and you are content in your world that's fine. Damn..I've started rambling. Gah! Oh well, I'll end it here before I wander off to far into the woods and have no way out :P
 
 
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Randomicedragon1969 on October 6th, 2004 02:03 pm (UTC)
You keep talking like this and I'm going to have to figure out a method of punisment you won't enjoy. :) Take it easy on yourself. There are days I wonder why I can't seem to be a Socrates or Plato or even a more popularist Anne Rice or J.R.R. Tolkein. We each have our talents. None are more important or less so, than others. The key to life isn't in being like everyone else, it's in being yourself.
Leetadragonfly5159 on October 6th, 2004 02:08 pm (UTC)
*hugs you* I just wish I knew what I was good at. You are like awesome with words and facts and even supporting a friend when their down. *whispers* making me clean seems to be something I don't enjoy..that and denying me sex..but I so didn't tell you that!
Randomicedragon1969 on October 6th, 2004 02:13 pm (UTC)
*laughs* Yes, but I'm not in the best of positions to do either. Just keep looking, you'll find something. Most important, though, is to just be -YOU-.
Leetadragonfly5159 on October 6th, 2004 02:22 pm (UTC)
I'm getting there..I just still have issues with being me around people. When I do that they give me funny looks. I'm working on getting over that and not caring. :) I'm better at it though. *nods sagely*
(Deleted comment)
Leetadragonfly5159 on October 6th, 2004 06:23 pm (UTC)
*hugs back* Thanks :)
Chancecrazchancecraz on October 7th, 2004 02:56 pm (UTC)
Don't worry about it I finished college and half the time I feel like the biggest dope on the planet. But I just can't seem to keep my mouth shut.
Leetadragonfly5159 on October 7th, 2004 05:54 pm (UTC)
Your not a dope, your very Smart. :)